WHEE...!!!!!!

Today was a NICU day...the roller coaster affect...ups and downs (...or downs and ups?). 

Priya was hungry and fussy when I walked into her room today.  She seemed very frustrated and was practically devouring her pacifier.  She was wide awake, so I thought THIS IS GOOD and should help with feeding!  When it came that time, the nurse had me try to feed Priya her bottle.  She stayed beside me, showed me what to do, and tried to help me, but Priya took maybe 6 sucks with swallows and then quit trying to latch, suck, and swallow completely.  She was awake but completely uninterested in trying at all.  She only took in 1 cc.  I was so disappointed.  It was hard for me to understand how she could suck and suck all day and night on a pacifier and want to suckle on everyone's shirts, nuckles, blankets, her own arm, etc, but be completely uninterested once she actually got the real deal.  Then I thought, well, she really doesn't have much of a palate to get the swallowing reflex going, so maybe the nipple they are using isn't quite hitting her at the same place her pacifier is. It turns out that those were some good mommy instincts, because after a frustrating second feed with the speech therapist, that is exactly what the nurse and speech therapist decided. So, they decided we needed to start using the same type of nipple they have been using but in a mini form. When it came time for the nurse to give the third feeding, she used the new nipple, but took a few sucks and swallows and quite again.  We all thought she may have only gotten 1 cc out of the bottle. But, surprise, surprise, when it was measured out, she got 5 cc!  So, it looks like the mini nipple did not necessarily help her with her frustration, but it did make her more efficient at getting milk out of the little bit of time she managed to feed.  Progress!  I am really hoping things continue looking up with the new nipple!

The speech therapist did tell me that she doesn't think Priya will be able to nurse.  Her cleft is pretty large, and she will have to work very hard to do oral feeds.  She wants me to continue pumping for feedings, but says Priya going to the breast will only be for my milk supply and bonding.  She says Priya will be able to get something, just not enough for proper nutrition.  She thinks she would enjoy it though and definitely encouraged me to try often for the reasons stated.

Priya's bowel is still moving pretty slowly.  It just can't seem to wake up quite yet.  When they check fluids from her previous feeds (by suctioning with syringe through NG tube), she has quite a bit of residual milk left over.  The good news is they can tell it has started digesting; it's just not moving through quickly.  Her abdomen is still soft and not measuring big, so they aren't worried about blockage.  Her bowel just has the post-surgery blues.  Mike and I were at the hospital all day, and Priya did not manage to have a bowel movement while we were there.  I hope there is some good news about that when I get there tomorrow.

Mike's parents left today, so it's back to the three of us at the hospital.  We were so glad they got to come meet Priya and see what a beautiful and sweet baby she is!  She got LOTS and LOTS of loves while they were here.

Today, the NICU had a parents' luncheon, so we were able to meet some other NICU parents and hear their stories.  Compared to most, we have it REALLY easy.  Even the doctors, nurses, and residents make daily comments how easy Priya is to care for compared to other babies in the unit.  It is good to be reminded of this, because even though my head knows things aren't bad at all, my emotions sometimes tell my head where to go, and I start throwing a pity party for Priya and myself, because I want my little girl to be well and come home with me.